well, i figure i'll ask here. I have a pair of speakers that say on the back "max 85 watts" and I have an onkyo receiver that is 100 watts per channel. Should I forget about it? Is this relevant? Procede with caution?
Proceed with common sense, knowing if you turn things up too loud, you'll have trouble. You'll probably hear the speakers breaking up if you push them too hard, and know to back it off.
Technically, it all depends. What are the speakers rated impedance? The amplifiers output impedance? Peak power, rms power, 'music power'? The whole wattage game is played with a variety of terms, and is probably the most abused by advertisers.
I have read that you are more likely to do something to your speakers by under-powering them, and in personal experience the chances of you actually damaging your speakers are very low.
Most of the time, receiver/amplifier companies over-rate their components to sound cool: even if the receiver was capable of 100watts continuously on each channel, you'd have to turn the knob all the way to 100% for it to be pounding that much, and at that volume, you'd most likely be deaf anyway.