BioShock Lacks Everything

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WhyYouLoveMe

Supreme [H]ardness
Joined
May 24, 2005
Messages
6,513
Since it's uber cool to start your own BioShock thread this is my thread and I must point out the glaring deficiencies in BioShock:

- There's no RTS elements.
- There's no monthly fee. :(
- There's no camera zoom.
- There's no patch for the game and it's been out FOREVER.
- The demo doesn't contain everything in the retail release.
- The game won't run at 12,340 fps on my P2, VooDoo2.
- I can't blow holes in the glass to let the ocean in and drown the entire city.
- There's no option to take control of the plane before it crashes.
- No joystick support?! :mad:
- No little sister blow-up doll in the collector's edition.
- No gold farming? Grrr...
- Hentai is curiously missing from the wall artwork.
- I can't transform into a semi-trailer? Come on!
- Where's the shotgun flashlight?!
- Whale textures are so lame. Everyone knows it's a mammal and has millions of tiny hairs on it's body. :rolleyes:
- The submersible has no sonar.
- Steam sux. EA Link rox.
- Since when did games stop shipping with home and cell numbers of every programmer?
- No scope zoom on wrench.
- No keyboard force feedback.
- Load times are longer than loading Minesweeper.
- 2K is actually trying to make me buy their game. The nerve.

I just don't understand why devs don't do everything I say.

Now if you'll excuse me I need to go play BioShock.
 
I can't blow holes in the glass to let the ocean in and drown the entire city.
Click to expand...

Now that would be an interesting addition to the game. Imagine: shooting a single bullet throught the window causes a small leak. But three or four bullets and the window shatters and 5,000,000 gallons of ocean water rush in and take your head off. Would definately make for interesting gameplay where you have to watch where you shoot.
 
Damn, I knew this game was gonna suck gigantic, diseased, elephant balls!! :p
 
ryan_975 said:
Now that would be an interesting addition to the game. Imagine: shooting a single bullet throught the window causes a small leak. But three or four bullets and the window shatters and 5,000,000 gallons of ocean water rush in and take your head off. Would definately make for interesting gameplay where you have to watch where you shoot.
Click to expand...

I'd play it
 
WhyYouLoveMe said:
Since it's uber cool to start your own BioShock thread this is my thread and I must point out the glaring deficiencies in BioShock:

- There's no RTS elements.
- There's no monthly fee. :(
- There's no camera zoom.
- There's no patch for the game and it's been out FOREVER.
- The demo doesn't contain everything in the retail release.
- The game won't run at 12,340 fps on my P2, VooDoo2.
- I can't blow holes in the glass to let the ocean in and drown the entire city.
- There's no option to take control of the plane before it crashes.
- No joystick support?! :mad:
- No little sister blow-up doll in the collector's edition.
- No gold farming? Grrr...

I just don't understand why devs don't do everything I say.

Now if you'll excuse me I need to go play BioShock.
Click to expand...

There's also no coupon towards a free white bunny, however I will waver that if we can all just agree to hurry towards the 24th of August ;)

Lovely list btw... :)
 
ryan_975 said:
Now that would be an interesting addition to the game. Imagine: shooting a single bullet throught the window causes a small leak. But three or four bullets and the window shatters and 5,000,000 gallons of ocean water rush in and take your head off. Would definately make for interesting gameplay where you have to watch where you shoot.
Click to expand...

I tried to break the glass when the plane hits next to you in the tube... made some cracks in it but no water :(
 
I should also add that while BioShock lacks everything apparently it also controls the minds of gamers everywhere and causes mass hysteria. :eek:
 
Please let me know where I can send my PayPal donations in order to keep this thread going.

Thank you.
 
I would love to argue your assertions point by point...but my steam downloaded version of BioShock doesn't run.
 
-The game won't run at 12,340 fps on my P2, VooDoo2


Really no excuse for this, very unoptimized game ;)
 
Hahahaahahaahahahaha - To the OP, man I got a good chuckle out of all of that. You should post it in the 2K Forums.:D
 
WhyYouLoveMe said:
Since it's uber cool to start your own BioShock thread this is my thread and I must point out the glaring deficiencies in BioShock:

- There's no RTS elements.
- There's no monthly fee. :(
- There's no camera zoom.
- There's no patch for the game and it's been out FOREVER.
- The demo doesn't contain everything in the retail release.
- The game won't run at 12,340 fps on my P2, VooDoo2.
- I can't blow holes in the glass to let the ocean in and drown the entire city.
- There's no option to take control of the plane before it crashes.
- No joystick support?! :mad:
- No little sister blow-up doll in the collector's edition.
- No gold farming? Grrr...
- Hentai is curiously missing from the wall artwork.
- I can't transform into a semi-trailer? Come on!
- Where's the shotgun flashlight?!
- Whale textures are so lame. Everyone knows it's a mammal and has millions of tiny hairs on it's body. :rolleyes:
- The submersible has no sonar.
- Steam sux. EA Link rox.
- Since when did games stop shipping with home and cell numbers of every programmer?
- No scope zoom on wrench.
- No keyboard force feedback.

I just don't understand why devs don't do everything I say.

Now if you'll excuse me I need to go play BioShock.
Click to expand...


I read the topic and was like "WTF?!?" but that quickly changed to "oh yeah." Nice post dude, very funny.

BioShock wins.
 
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