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How do I cite video games in MLA format?
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[Tripod]MajorPayne
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I would cite it like a film or a piece of music. Perhaps even adapting the internet style of citation would help. Here's what I could find and what I fabricated in my head:
This link to an MLA citaiton page
My guess would be something like this:
DeveloperLastName, DeveloperName. The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion.
I'm sure all those fields are readily available, but I don't know if "City of Developer" applies. Also, the "Developer Name" may be replaced with "Producer Name" if there is one (e.g. Miyamato for the Mario and Zelda games). That's just my guess, so no guarantees are given. You could always a) ask a professor, b) just give it your best shot, or c) try to find a more accurate citation example. Hope this helps...
PS: Remember to use a hanging indent with your citations if they are greater than one line. (Pretty well goes without saying, I guess.)
This link to an MLA citaiton page
My guess would be something like this:
DeveloperLastName, DeveloperName. The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion.
CityOfDeveloper:DevelopingCompany, Publication/ReleaseDate.
I'm sure all those fields are readily available, but I don't know if "City of Developer" applies. Also, the "Developer Name" may be replaced with "Producer Name" if there is one (e.g. Miyamato for the Mario and Zelda games). That's just my guess, so no guarantees are given. You could always a) ask a professor, b) just give it your best shot, or c) try to find a more accurate citation example. Hope this helps...
PS: Remember to use a hanging indent with your citations if they are greater than one line. (Pretty well goes without saying, I guess.)
Okay guys I think I am done with this essay. I have had some other people critique it and I think im pretty much good to go. I hope no one minds, but I am going to go ahead and post the essay. Im not asking for any help, just want to know if you guys think it is good or not 
the goal was to make a judgment of something using a set of criteria. the paper could NOT end up being a report... I chose oblivion as the best game ever Keep in mind that this is going to be graded by a university professor
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A Game Unlike Any Other
As an avid gamer, I have played many computer games that have captured my interest and some that have proved to be a waste of time. In the search for a game that could be crowned the best computer game ever, there are certain aspects that a computer gamer considers while judging each game. Opinions about computer games vary dramatically in the computer gaming community, but with each opinion there are criteria for a game to be considered good, or even the best. The main points that critics analyze are usually graphics, sound, gameplay (which is a very broad analysis in itself), and value (GameSpot). I, on the other hand, have my own set of criteria that a game meet into in order to be considered the best. My criteria for the best game ever consist of replay value, controls, uniqueness, customization, visual appeal, and overall feeling. I have determined that the greatest game ever created is a game developed by Bethesda Softworks called Oblivion.
First impressions are always important. The controls are a major factor in determining whether or not a game is worth continuing and difficult controls can land a game in my trash can. Oblivion has controls that differ from many games. Typically, the jump key is the space bar, but in Oblivion, it is the “e” key. At first this is awkward, but after some time, it proves to be much easier to access considering the other controls. To hot-key some spells, you simply hold down a number which is right next to the movement keys as well as the jump key. These controls, although awkward at first, have proved to be very easy to use than any other similar game.
The visual appeal of a game adds to the mood. The graphic intensity of Oblivion is revolutionary. The visual effects simulate the real world better than any other game in existence. In the game, you can experience sunsets, rain, snow, fog, falling leaves, and even footsteps in the snow. Virtually every item in the game is intractable. Most other games have items lying around that seem to be cemented to the ground. In Oblivion all the items can be picked up and thrown. This type of interactivity was only dreamed of not too long ago.
Customization is something that is not part of every game. When it is though, the gaming community gathers around and creates add-ons to the game that the original developer does not support. Add-ons for Oblivion consist of new characters, items, levels, and even entire environments. Players have the ability to change the appearance of their character at their will or even create entirely new ones. One player named Giskard has made a modification that changes the direction of the entire game. The added content makes for virtually endless gameplay. There are infinite possibilities to what you can do with this game, making it far superior to any other customizable game.
Uniqueness is surprisingly something that many games lack. Most of the time one game will have the same type of character class as the last. Oblivion dwarfs other games because it has such a unique set of terms and abilities that it makes it seem like you have never played a computer game before. Normally, characters can be divided into classes such as a warrior, mage, thief, or archer. In Oblivion you can choose classes like the wizard, battle wizard, acrobat, crusader, healer, knight, bard, and many others, each with their own abilities. Oblivion even allows you to fine tune a class to your liking. In virtually every other game, the term used for your magic power is mana. In this game, it is called magika. Term changes like this make players more interested in the game because it gives them new lore to learn. Oblivion is pretty much its own universe and could even be considered its own genre and because of this it is much more interesting than all other games.
The last, and perhaps most important aspect of a game, is the replay value. Games with a definite and straightforward story line can only be played once or twice. Oblivion has many side stories and quests to keep you busy for hours of gameplay. The main quest can be completed in around twenty hours or so and the side quests can be completed in about one hundred. The astonishing thing about Oblivion is that you can go through the game as each of the several classes and have a totally new different experience. This accounts for hundreds of hours of play which is unlike any other game created. Even if you were to try to play the game exactly the way you have before, it would not be possible because Oblivion incorporates randomness in the world’s characters and events.
Oblivion is a game that has captured my interest in a way that no other game has before. It is indeed a beautiful piece of work and for that, it has been crowned the best computer game ever created. It will be hard for any future games to dethrone Oblivion of its title because it is not only better than the rest, but it far surpasses any other game that is judged b
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the goal was to make a judgment of something using a set of criteria. the paper could NOT end up being a report... I chose oblivion as the best game ever
Keep in mind that this is going to be graded by a university professor----------Begin TXT------------
A Game Unlike Any Other
As an avid gamer, I have played many computer games that have captured my interest and some that have proved to be a waste of time. In the search for a game that could be crowned the best computer game ever, there are certain aspects that a computer gamer considers while judging each game. Opinions about computer games vary dramatically in the computer gaming community, but with each opinion there are criteria for a game to be considered good, or even the best. The main points that critics analyze are usually graphics, sound, gameplay (which is a very broad analysis in itself), and value (GameSpot). I, on the other hand, have my own set of criteria that a game meet into in order to be considered the best. My criteria for the best game ever consist of replay value, controls, uniqueness, customization, visual appeal, and overall feeling. I have determined that the greatest game ever created is a game developed by Bethesda Softworks called Oblivion.
First impressions are always important. The controls are a major factor in determining whether or not a game is worth continuing and difficult controls can land a game in my trash can. Oblivion has controls that differ from many games. Typically, the jump key is the space bar, but in Oblivion, it is the “e” key. At first this is awkward, but after some time, it proves to be much easier to access considering the other controls. To hot-key some spells, you simply hold down a number which is right next to the movement keys as well as the jump key. These controls, although awkward at first, have proved to be very easy to use than any other similar game.
The visual appeal of a game adds to the mood. The graphic intensity of Oblivion is revolutionary. The visual effects simulate the real world better than any other game in existence. In the game, you can experience sunsets, rain, snow, fog, falling leaves, and even footsteps in the snow. Virtually every item in the game is intractable. Most other games have items lying around that seem to be cemented to the ground. In Oblivion all the items can be picked up and thrown. This type of interactivity was only dreamed of not too long ago.
Customization is something that is not part of every game. When it is though, the gaming community gathers around and creates add-ons to the game that the original developer does not support. Add-ons for Oblivion consist of new characters, items, levels, and even entire environments. Players have the ability to change the appearance of their character at their will or even create entirely new ones. One player named Giskard has made a modification that changes the direction of the entire game. The added content makes for virtually endless gameplay. There are infinite possibilities to what you can do with this game, making it far superior to any other customizable game.
Uniqueness is surprisingly something that many games lack. Most of the time one game will have the same type of character class as the last. Oblivion dwarfs other games because it has such a unique set of terms and abilities that it makes it seem like you have never played a computer game before. Normally, characters can be divided into classes such as a warrior, mage, thief, or archer. In Oblivion you can choose classes like the wizard, battle wizard, acrobat, crusader, healer, knight, bard, and many others, each with their own abilities. Oblivion even allows you to fine tune a class to your liking. In virtually every other game, the term used for your magic power is mana. In this game, it is called magika. Term changes like this make players more interested in the game because it gives them new lore to learn. Oblivion is pretty much its own universe and could even be considered its own genre and because of this it is much more interesting than all other games.
The last, and perhaps most important aspect of a game, is the replay value. Games with a definite and straightforward story line can only be played once or twice. Oblivion has many side stories and quests to keep you busy for hours of gameplay. The main quest can be completed in around twenty hours or so and the side quests can be completed in about one hundred. The astonishing thing about Oblivion is that you can go through the game as each of the several classes and have a totally new different experience. This accounts for hundreds of hours of play which is unlike any other game created. Even if you were to try to play the game exactly the way you have before, it would not be possible because Oblivion incorporates randomness in the world’s characters and events.
Oblivion is a game that has captured my interest in a way that no other game has before. It is indeed a beautiful piece of work and for that, it has been crowned the best computer game ever created. It will be hard for any future games to dethrone Oblivion of its title because it is not only better than the rest, but it far surpasses any other game that is judged b
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tickle_me_emo
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what is this, the help me with my homework forum?
Here is what I foundhttp://www.cas.usf.edu/english/walker/mla.html
If you scroll down it shows video games
If you scroll down it shows video games
I'm not understanding you. "What is the point of the essay? How do I know that Oblivion is the greatest game to me? Something about dieing and the future?"
Heres a question for you. Are you freaking SERIOUS?
Spaceman_Spiff
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What exactly is your assignment here? Because honestly, writing a legitimate college paper about a video game seems like a bad idea. If you were arguing, say, the advantages or increased investment acheived by a player driven story line, in terms or morality, personality, etc, you might have a case, but this reads like an internet game review. Its not a critical essay, and it makes only passing, general comparisons to other games, which I'm 99% sure the professor has no personal relationship to. You have to assume your reader has never played a video game in his life (I'll personally pay you $20 if he doesn't circle the word "hot-key" and ask what it means).
Perhaps you could relate your experience of playing the game to something more traditional or universal, like the experience of reading a great book or the visceral satisfaction of someone who loves nature going for a hike. Convince him why he, as a college professor, can relate to your appreciation of the game, by comparing it to something other than other games. "Best game ever" is a video game review, but "engrossing sensory and psychological experience" is an english paper. They both might make the same points, but they do it in different ways. You can still write a crappy paper with great ideas or arguments, if you don't go anywhere with them. The difference between a C paper and an A paper is often one or two concise, solid, analytical thoughts at the end of each paragraph of presenting facts and setting up where you're going.
I was a literature minor in school, and way too often was asked to read total garbage where people just rant on about something that they loved, but that frankly I didn't care about. Make the professor care about it, or at least respect the fact that you have a thoughtful opinion of something. You might want to say that I'm totally wrong and it'll be ok, but this was posted on an internet game forum, where everyone knows what you're talking about. What kind of response would you have gotten by posting this on a site focusing on movies or politics, or giving it to some female friend of yours who spends eight hours a day writing on people's facebook walls? They wouldn't get it.
Perhaps you could relate your experience of playing the game to something more traditional or universal, like the experience of reading a great book or the visceral satisfaction of someone who loves nature going for a hike. Convince him why he, as a college professor, can relate to your appreciation of the game, by comparing it to something other than other games. "Best game ever" is a video game review, but "engrossing sensory and psychological experience" is an english paper. They both might make the same points, but they do it in different ways. You can still write a crappy paper with great ideas or arguments, if you don't go anywhere with them. The difference between a C paper and an A paper is often one or two concise, solid, analytical thoughts at the end of each paragraph of presenting facts and setting up where you're going.
I was a literature minor in school, and way too often was asked to read total garbage where people just rant on about something that they loved, but that frankly I didn't care about. Make the professor care about it, or at least respect the fact that you have a thoughtful opinion of something. You might want to say that I'm totally wrong and it'll be ok, but this was posted on an internet game forum, where everyone knows what you're talking about. What kind of response would you have gotten by posting this on a site focusing on movies or politics, or giving it to some female friend of yours who spends eight hours a day writing on people's facebook walls? They wouldn't get it.
I agree with Spaceman_Spiff. Looking over your paper you just have no general guideline as to what the "item" is supposed to be about. Is this a term paper for something in particular? What is the basis of the paper? You are doing nothing more than expressing your opinion in the paper and not really citing anything other than your opinion.
When writing your paper you are proposing that Oblivion is the "Greatest Game Ever." Well how do you know this, have you played every game ever made? Have you tried every genre of games? As for the previous posters part about you dieing, what he is trying to say is that if you died today would your opinion matter so much that it would be considered "THE GREATEST GAME EVER!"
Basically if you turn this into any half-decent college professor, you will either get the paper back with nothing more written on it then "What are you talking about?" or your paper will bleed red ink.
We are not trying to crap on your parade. Those of us that have been through college are doing nothing more than trying to help you get the best grade possible.
Here are a few things to think about when writing a paper (you should base everything you write around guidelines such as these)
1. What is the purpose/subject of the paper?
2. Who is your audience?
3. Is what you are writing about common knowledge?
4. Is your paper based on opinion or fact?
Maybe we could help you out a bit more if we had more information on the guidelines of the assignment. But as it stands right now, this will be blatantly sundered by your professor. Helpful hint is to use the Grammar & Style checker for the paper and the readability statistics. If you are using MS Word here is how to find them....
Open Word -> Tools -> Options
In the Options pop-up you will see a bunch of tabs, you want the spelling & grammar tab.
Down at the bottom you will see a section called Grammar. You want to change writing style from Grammer to Grammar & Style. Then you want to check the "show readability statistics" check box. When you perform a spell check on your assignment at the very end it will give you the readability stats.
I ran the stats on your paper and you have a 25% passive voice (not bad but not good, should be more around 12-15%). You had a Flesch Reading Ease of 58.0 (that means that 58% of the people that read your paper will have a MINIMAL understand of it). And your Flesch-Kincaid Reading Level (the most important one) tells you that you are writing at a 9.5 grade level. So basically, it is saying you are writing this paper at the reading comprehension of a High School Freshman at best. You need that to be ATLEAST 11.0 or higher, but nothing higher than 12.5 as then you are getting to technical.
We are more than willing to help you, just be ready for some hits to parts YOU think were great.
When writing your paper you are proposing that Oblivion is the "Greatest Game Ever." Well how do you know this, have you played every game ever made? Have you tried every genre of games? As for the previous posters part about you dieing, what he is trying to say is that if you died today would your opinion matter so much that it would be considered "THE GREATEST GAME EVER!"
Basically if you turn this into any half-decent college professor, you will either get the paper back with nothing more written on it then "What are you talking about?" or your paper will bleed red ink.
We are not trying to crap on your parade. Those of us that have been through college are doing nothing more than trying to help you get the best grade possible.
Here are a few things to think about when writing a paper (you should base everything you write around guidelines such as these)
1. What is the purpose/subject of the paper?
2. Who is your audience?
3. Is what you are writing about common knowledge?
4. Is your paper based on opinion or fact?
Maybe we could help you out a bit more if we had more information on the guidelines of the assignment. But as it stands right now, this will be blatantly sundered by your professor. Helpful hint is to use the Grammar & Style checker for the paper and the readability statistics. If you are using MS Word here is how to find them....
Open Word -> Tools -> Options
In the Options pop-up you will see a bunch of tabs, you want the spelling & grammar tab.
Down at the bottom you will see a section called Grammar. You want to change writing style from Grammer to Grammar & Style. Then you want to check the "show readability statistics" check box. When you perform a spell check on your assignment at the very end it will give you the readability stats.
I ran the stats on your paper and you have a 25% passive voice (not bad but not good, should be more around 12-15%). You had a Flesch Reading Ease of 58.0 (that means that 58% of the people that read your paper will have a MINIMAL understand of it). And your Flesch-Kincaid Reading Level (the most important one) tells you that you are writing at a 9.5 grade level. So basically, it is saying you are writing this paper at the reading comprehension of a High School Freshman at best. You need that to be ATLEAST 11.0 or higher, but nothing higher than 12.5 as then you are getting to technical.
We are more than willing to help you, just be ready for some hits to parts YOU think were great.
*sigh* I should have known that posting this was a bad idea.
I wrote the essay about Oblivion because my professor seemed interested in video games. I mentioned somewhere that I was a PC gaming enthusiast and he actually recommended the topic to me.
I'm sorry I was too vague about the guidelines of the essay. I never meant for it to be read so critically! First thing I must ask is that you forget about the fact that I am giving Oblivion the title of the best game ever. Honestly, has anybody in the entire world played every single game? I submit that no one has. I say that as a rhetorical "tactic" if you will. I am trying to put it in my own frame of reference. Also, when someone says something is the best ____ ever, I can assure you that they mean the past and the present. If the future had to be taken into account in order for something to be considered the best ever then the phrase would be rendered obsolete.
Let me try and explain the guidelines a little clearer. The type of essay is an evaluation essay. I was supposed to pick a topic or a thing and make a conclusion about it based on a set of criteria. In the essay, I was to explain how the item fits the criteria using my own frame of reference. First person was allowed.
Heres the simplest way I can explain it. Pick something (Oblivion, Ford Mustang, Immigration Reform, the IRS, etc.), in this case I picked Oblivion. Make a statement about it (It is good, ugly, a hassle, bad, best worst), in this case I said it was the best game ever (by the way, personally I can not tag a game the best ever because there are so many different types. Kinda like someone asking you what your favorite game is... you just don't know all of the time!). Then, you have to come up with a set of criteria for the thing to be considered the best, worst, ugly, or whatever. I chose to use replay value, visual appeal, controls, uniqueness, and customization (i took out overall feeling at the end and forgot to delete it). In the essay, you must explain how the item fits the criteria.
Really guys, I did not intend for you to critique it so hard! I do appreciate it though. Don't think too hard about it also, its not that big of a deal
I wrote the essay about Oblivion because my professor seemed interested in video games. I mentioned somewhere that I was a PC gaming enthusiast and he actually recommended the topic to me.
I'm sorry I was too vague about the guidelines of the essay. I never meant for it to be read so critically! First thing I must ask is that you forget about the fact that I am giving Oblivion the title of the best game ever. Honestly, has anybody in the entire world played every single game? I submit that no one has. I say that as a rhetorical "tactic" if you will. I am trying to put it in my own frame of reference. Also, when someone says something is the best ____ ever, I can assure you that they mean the past and the present. If the future had to be taken into account in order for something to be considered the best ever then the phrase would be rendered obsolete.
Let me try and explain the guidelines a little clearer. The type of essay is an evaluation essay. I was supposed to pick a topic or a thing and make a conclusion about it based on a set of criteria. In the essay, I was to explain how the item fits the criteria using my own frame of reference. First person was allowed.
Heres the simplest way I can explain it. Pick something (Oblivion, Ford Mustang, Immigration Reform, the IRS, etc.), in this case I picked Oblivion. Make a statement about it (It is good, ugly, a hassle, bad, best worst), in this case I said it was the best game ever (by the way, personally I can not tag a game the best ever because there are so many different types. Kinda like someone asking you what your favorite game is... you just don't know all of the time!). Then, you have to come up with a set of criteria for the thing to be considered the best, worst, ugly, or whatever. I chose to use replay value, visual appeal, controls, uniqueness, and customization (i took out overall feeling at the end and forgot to delete it). In the essay, you must explain how the item fits the criteria.
Really guys, I did not intend for you to critique it so hard! I do appreciate it though. Don't think too hard about it also, its not that big of a deal
is the game going to be your only reference? Its kinda sketchy for a paper/essay to cite only one source
one good tip i learned is if you give your essay to your mom and she can understand what you're trying to convey, you're going in the right direction. of course that never worked out for me because all my biochemistry papers were on signalling cascades controlling retinal development
one good tip i learned is if you give your essay to your mom and she can understand what you're trying to convey, you're going in the right direction. of course that never worked out for me because all my biochemistry papers were on signalling cascades controlling retinal development
swatbat
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Run by the school library and look at the MLA Style book. It should have the proper way to cite the game in it.
Stop defending yourself because no one is attacking you. Spaceman_Spiff gave some excellent feedback and you should take it all into consideration. What you posted above is simply not a college level paper, I wouldn't have even turned in something like that in high school. The number one thing when writing any paper is to know your audience. More than likely your professor will not be that familiar with video games, even if it seems like he is interested in them. If I were you I would rewrite the paper and try to write it in a way that would make a non gamer want to go out and try the game.
Some quick points on what you have:
- Lose the entire paragraph about the key placement and controls, it is trivial and boring
- The same thing goes with talking about customizing your character, touch on it a little maybe, but don't list character classes because no one cares.
- In your introduction and conclusion you say that Oblivion has captured your interest more than any other game, yet in the body of your essay you don't even begin to explain how
- Basicall, forget all the details. Don't mention key assignments, mods, character classes, or anything at all like that. Speak more about how the game makes you feel while you are playing it. Do you honestly play the game because you can choose between 200 character classes or because of the physics or the spell hotkeys? Or, do you the play the game because it is an immersive fantasy world where you can do things that you could never do in real life?
Some quick points on what you have:
- Lose the entire paragraph about the key placement and controls, it is trivial and boring
- The same thing goes with talking about customizing your character, touch on it a little maybe, but don't list character classes because no one cares.
- In your introduction and conclusion you say that Oblivion has captured your interest more than any other game, yet in the body of your essay you don't even begin to explain how
- Basicall, forget all the details. Don't mention key assignments, mods, character classes, or anything at all like that. Speak more about how the game makes you feel while you are playing it. Do you honestly play the game because you can choose between 200 character classes or because of the physics or the spell hotkeys? Or, do you the play the game because it is an immersive fantasy world where you can do things that you could never do in real life?
^^^^ Speaks the truth. We are not trying to attack you on this but to help you better understand how to write a proper and compelling paper. Unfortunately, I only write in APA format (technical format used in writing in technology or scientific learning circles) so I would not know how to properly cite the game but I believe that one of the above poster gave a very good example. And seriously, turn those reading statistic on in word, they can save you a lot of problems in the future as you will run across teachers that will grade specifically on those stats, get used to them now while you still can. Also, the reason we were asking so many questions is because we were trying to understand the assignment better to give you some guidance because as it stands you have no "focus." I believe you have three very good posts that will help you if you are open to the guidance, but ultimately it is your paper, do as you please.
Whatever you do let us know how you do in the end you have now peaked our curiosity
What the heck guys, I never felt attacked. I just never intended to have it ripped apart and analyzed. The reason I go into specifics is because thats what the assignment called for. I was to be as specific as possible. Being broad was not the assignment and if I only talked about how it made me feel I would have failed the assignment.
I gotta say, I agree with you guys on the fact that my professor might not know what the heck Im talking about, but that was the assignment and I tried to put it into terms that he might understand.
It's obvious to me that I will, for some reason, continue to get replies asking to be more specific about the assignment. So I am just going to leave it as is and let you guys know what the professor thinks about it. My prediction is that if I get a good grade, some people will say that my professor is an easy grader because the paper does not meet their standards. On the other hand, if I fail then I will only take everything said here into consideration and try to better my writing in the future. Hey, the only way to learn is to fail a little bit right?
Walie: nah its not the only source. I actually have four others.
I gotta say, I agree with you guys on the fact that my professor might not know what the heck Im talking about, but that was the assignment and I tried to put it into terms that he might understand.
It's obvious to me that I will, for some reason, continue to get replies asking to be more specific about the assignment. So I am just going to leave it as is and let you guys know what the professor thinks about it. My prediction is that if I get a good grade, some people will say that my professor is an easy grader because the paper does not meet their standards. On the other hand, if I fail then I will only take everything said here into consideration and try to better my writing in the future. Hey, the only way to learn is to fail a little bit right?
Walie: nah its not the only source. I actually have four others.
Spaceman_Spiff
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Fair enough, and having read your previous post about the assignment it makes a little bit more sense. However, I think you should delve deeper into why the aspects of the game you have chosen are what makes a game great, in your opinion. You say it does them well, but why are these aspects fundamentally crucial to the success? For example,
"The visual appeal of a game adds to the mood. ... This type of interactivity was only dreamed of not too long ago."
These are good thoughts, but expand upon them. What does mood do for a game? How does it make the experience more enjoyable? What is the purpose, or what do you personally gain, from playing the game in the first place, and how is this gain enhanced by this particular aspect of the game? Thats what I was getting at before when I suggested comparing it to a completely unrelated activity.
I think if you eliminate the "best game ever" vibe and change it more to a "most engrossing experience I have personally had playing a video game" idea it would work better. Focus the opening paragraph on why you play video games, a satisfaction and reward sort of thing, and expand upon how each individual aspect you choose relates back to those original ideas.
Posting it here was not a good idea. Many people in the Hard forums live to criticize others.
Spaceman_Spiff
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The ironic thing here is, if you had read the thread at all, you'd realize that several responses to this thread were thoughtful, careful, and constructive analysis of his post that he chose to make, implying that he wished for some opinions on it.
If you feel you are one of the people who lives to criticize others, as per my last post, then that is your problem not mine. BTW, if you had bothered to read the OPs first post, he was clearly looking for a way to cite oblivion, and not criticism of his paper.
Spaceman_Spiff
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Yes, that was his original post, which he then followed up with the text of his essay, preceeded by:
paveway said:
I think the op, as well as the people who responded with criticism, had a commendably intelligent and thoughtful discussion on the topic considering the stubborness and immaturity of the average internet forum thread.
I don't want to argue and get this locked because I'd like to see the op's update later on. I just personally saw this thread heading into immature name calling early on and was impressed when it didn't. You're definintely right about most people and their e-penis wikipedia degrees but in this case I have to disagree.
I posted the essay because I figured some people would be interested in reading it and perhaps offer some advice. I did get a little irritated when people were making smart-a comments like "I wouldn't even turn that in to my 9th grade high school teacher" and "have you even played all the games of the future?" and even "Why are you writing a college paper about a game?" That was kinda ridiculous. However, among all that there was some nice insightful comments by some people who just thought it was a little too simple for their taste, which is great! I was looking for some constructive criticism. Now look, writing is definitely not my strong point and I would LOVE to be able to write a PHD level paper, but its just not in my bag, baby. I agree a paper about a game is sort of bland. I wanted to write about immigration reform but while in a conversation with my instructor about competitive gaming he said, "You ought to write about a game you like, that would be interesting," so I did (heck I wouldn't have to do a lot of research and he would find it interesting, where could I go wrong?).
I should be getting a grade for the paper on Wed. or Fri.. Remember Spaceman_Spiff, you owe me twenty bucks if he doesn't circle "hot-key" yeah, I'm kidding hehe. In the mean time, I am going to start writing my next paper where I analyze the United States' missile defense program. I'm sure you guys would love see that essay
I should be getting a grade for the paper on Wed. or Fri.. Remember Spaceman_Spiff, you owe me twenty bucks if he doesn't circle "hot-key"
yeah, I'm kidding hehe. In the mean time, I am going to start writing my next paper where I analyze the United States' missile defense program. I'm sure you guys would love see that essay I posted the essay because I figured some people would be interested in reading it and perhaps offer some advice. I did get a little irritated when people were making smart-a comments like "I wouldn't even turn that in to my 9th grade high school teacher" and "have you even played all the games of the future?" and even "Why are you writing a college paper about a game?" That was kinda ridiculous. However, among all that there was some nice insightful comments by some people who just thought it was a little too simple for their taste, which is great! I was looking for some constructive criticism. Now look, writing is definitely not my strong point and I would LOVE to be able to write a PHD level paper, but its just not in my bag, baby. I agree a paper about a game is sort of bland. I wanted to write about immigration reform but while in a conversation with my instructor about competitive gaming he said, "You ought to write about a game you like, that would be interesting," so I did (heck I wouldn't have to do a lot of research and he would find it interesting, where could I go wrong?).
I should be getting a grade for the paper on Wed. or Fri.. Remember Spaceman_Spiff, you owe me twenty bucks if he doesn't circle "hot-key"
No offense was taken dude, and if I was one of those "smart-a" people I apologize that is not what was meant. However, I do truly hope you take my advice and turn those reading statistics on in Word, they are a great help. Also, I would be kinda interested in the missile defense paper as I might be able to give some insight. In my previous, semiconductor job I worked with a few of the "missile defense contractors" I could not devoulge any specific information but could give you some ideas and hints.
Hope you end up doing well with the paper.
That would be great! I would definitely cite you if we do talk about it. Its not a paper on how the system actually works, its pretty much just an analysis of the effects of having a system in the first place (you know, questions like what would the reactions of the international community be, is it cost effective, and with the Soviet Union no longer in existence, is it even needed?). Should be a pretty interesting essay. I'm hoping my professor will find it interesting because this debate isn't exactly mainstream nowdays.
Edit: I really wish [H] had a general discussion forum...
Shark-MegaByte
Limp Gawd
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This article should be an interesting consideration for your paper about the issues surrounding missile defense.
winston856
[H]ard|Gawd
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I don't know if I like those things, I loaded up two of my papers which I put moderate effort into and the stats on the first one were 10%, 60%, 8.3.
The second one was 5%, 58% and 8.9.
Hmm, how credible are these things? lol. The papers have already been turned in and graded.
Spaceman_Spiff
[H]ard|Gawd
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Honestly, it depends. Everyone has a different writing style, and all professors have different preferences as well. They're definintely not make or break statistics, though. Aren't most newspapers written around a sixth grade reading level or so?
Anyway, good luck on the paper!
Yeah it depends on the style that you are using too. I dont know if the style makes that much of an impact on the read statistics but I use them for technical writing (APA Format). And have had these stats burned into my brain for the last 4-5yrs from school. Even though I am getting my MBA my professors still require that we use the stats to help us "proof read" our work.
For the first part, which is "Passive" speak, you should be no higher than ~15% so you are fine on both papers.
For the second part, which is percentage of understanding, you should be around 50-60% so you are fine there as well
For the final part, this is the reading level of your sentences and wording, This shows you at about a 9th grade level. Try going back with the shorter paper and using "bigger" words for some of the more common words. If you want, pm me your shorter paper and I will go through it and show you what I mean. According to my professors, your reading ease stats should be somewhere between 11 and 12.5 depending on how technical the paper is and who your audience is. Two very important things.
proper writing requires that you use the full title the first time for example: The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion. And further all video game titles should be placed w/in "" so it should be "The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion." (periods always go inside quotations)
I won't say anything else but hopefully you at least take the grammer and style corrections to heart, because it is the correct way to write.
Don't be scared of the red either, honestly I've gotten papers back from my teacher with a hell of a lot more red. But you gotta take it and use it bc it'll only help you.
you need to make your arguements more concrete. You lack evidence, your writing lacks power and cleverness. The simple changes I recommend only improve flow and correct grammer and style. You need to add a lot more to make a piece like this work.As an avid gamer, I have played many computer games that have captured my interest and some that have proven (tense) to be a waste of time. In the search for a game that could be crowned the best computer game ever (consider removing), there are certain aspects that a computer (unnecessary repetition) gamer considers when judging each game. Opinions about computer (unnecessary repetition) games vary dramatically in the computer (unnecessary repetition) gaming (not necessary) community, but with each opinion (use synonym for 'opinion' so as to avoid repetition) there are criteria for a game to be considered good, or even the best (this sentence is awkward). The main points that critics analyze are usually graphics, sound, gameplay (which is a very broad analysis in itself) (instead of parenthesis use -- <text> -- to offset the idea), and value (GameSpot) (not necessary). I, on the other hand, have my own set of criteria that a game must meet into in order (remove) to be considered the best (sentence is wordy, can you make it shorter?). My criteria for the best game ever (remove) consists of replay value, controls, uniqueness, customization, visual appeal, (remove, you only put a comma before an 'and' if it is the beginning of a new idea) and overall feeling. I have determined that the greatest game ever created is a game developed by Bethesda Softworks called Oblivion. ( I think my version of this last sentence feels smoother) In my opinion "The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion" by Bethesda Softworks is the best game.
First impressions are always (unnecessary adverb) important. The controls are a major factor in determining whether or not (unnecessary) a game is worth continuing, (need a comma here) and difficult controls can land a game in my trash can. "Oblivion" has controls that differ from many games. Typically, the jump key is the space bar, but in Oblivion, it is the 'e' key which (add and edit here) at first this (remove) is awkward, but after some time, it (remove) proves to be much easier to access considering the other controls. To hot-key (this term might require explanation) some spells, you simply hold down a number which is right next to the movement keys as well as the jump key. These controls, thought awkward at first, has proven to be easier to use than any (remove) other similar games.
The visual appeal of a game adds to the mood (how?). The graphic intensity of "Oblivion" is revolutionary. The visual effects simulate the real world better than any other game in existence (quantifiable?). In the game, you can experience sunsets, rain, snow, fog, falling leaves, and even footsteps in the snow. Virtually every item in the game is intractable (are they intractable or interactive? big difference in meaning
Customization is something that is not part of every game (can you make your openings more dynamic?). When it is though, the gaming community gathers around and creates add-ons to the game that the original (not necessary, obviously the developer is the original) developer does not support. Add-ons for "Oblivion" consist of new characters, items, levels, (once again, comma is not necessary) and even entire environments. Players have the ability to change the appearance of their character at their (remove) will or even (find a different word or remove) create entirely new ones. One player named Giskard has made a modification that changes the direction of the entire game (how?). The added content makes for virtually endless gameplay (how?). There are infinite possibilities to what you can do with this game, making it far superior to any other customizable game (how, why?). (your paragraphs are shallow and lack definition. You need to add depth to your descriptions and thoughts.)
Uniqueness is surprisingly something that many games lack (sentence is flat, like your other opening sentences; you need to start with power and panache). Most of the time one game will have the same type of character class as the last. "Oblivion" dwarfs other games because it has such a unique set of terms and abilities that it makes it seem like you have never played a computer game before (for example? compared to? specificity is your friend, you're just making sweeping claims without evidence. it sounds like you work for Bethesda and are trying to advertise the game). Normally, characters can be divided into classes such as a warrior, mage, thief, or archer. In "Oblivion" you can choose classes like the wizard, battle wizard, acrobat, crusader, healer, knight, bard, (not necessary again) and many others, (comma splice, change to a semi-colon) each with their own abilities. Oblivion even allows you to fine tune a class to your liking (how?). In virtually every other game, the term used for your magic power is mana (for example?). In this game, it is called magika. Term changes like this make players more interested in the game because it gives them new lore to learn. "Oblivion" is pretty much its own universe and could even be considered its own genre and because of this it is much more interesting than all (remove) other games (your examples don't really support this claim, at least not at the depth you've delved into).
The final, and perhaps most important aspect of a game, is the replay value. Games with a definite and straightforward story line can only be played once or twice. Oblivion has many side stories and quests to keep you busy for hours of game play (game play is 2 words). The main quest can be completed in around 20 (you don't have to write out numbers, unless it is the first word in a sentence) hours or so and the side quests can be completed in about 100 (see prior). The astonishing thing about "Oblivion" is that you can go through the game as one of the many classes and have a totally (remove) new different (remove) experience with each (add). This accounts for hundreds (do you see why I left this one written out?
"Oblivion" is a game that has captured my interest in a way that no other game has before (redundant word choice, remove). It is indeed (unnecessary adverb) a beautiful piece of work, (you NEED a comma here) and for that, it has been crowned the best computer game ever created (this is opinion, make it so). It will be hard for any future game to dethrone Oblivion of its title (IMO) because it is not only better than the rest, but it far surpasses any other game that is judged. (Weak close, more opinionated fluff)
I won't say anything else but hopefully you at least take the grammer and style corrections to heart, because it is the correct way to write.
Don't be scared of the red either, honestly I've gotten papers back from my teacher with a hell of a lot more red. But you gotta take it and use it bc it'll only help you.
Thanks for those suggestions. The paper I submitted to my professor was a revised version of the text that I posted, so there was some cleaning up done. But those are some good suggestions though. Like I said, I'm not a good writer but I would like to improve. Some suggestions are contradictory to what I have learned, but then I think, can there really be a totally controlled literary standard? I underlined Oblivion throughout the paper because the professor suggested that we do so. He is picky as HELL and I did not want to get deducted for something like that (oh I just noticed that the underlines did not show up on the shown text, my bad
) I am curious about formatting the numbers though. I was always told in High School that if the numbers are below 100 then the words are written out. I could be off but it was something to that effect.Man I hope he has the damned thing graded tomorrow, I am freaking on EDGE!!!
Thanks for those suggestions. The paper I submitted to my professor was a revised version of the text that I posted, so there was some cleaning up done. But those are some good suggestions though. Like I said, I'm not a good writer but I would like to improve. Some suggestions are contradictory to what I have learned, but then I think, can there really be a totally controlled literary standard? I underlined Oblivion throughout the paper because the professor suggested that we do so. He is picky as HELL and I did not want to get deducted for something like that (oh I just noticed that the underlines did not show up on the shown text, my bad
Man I hope he has the damned thing graded tomorrow, I am freaking on EDGE!!!
Well good luck to you dude, hope all goes well. As for the "writing out numbers" thing, in the APA format anything that is larger than ten (10) can be done numerically, anything smaller needs to be written out. But if you feel safer doing anything smaller than 100 then by all means do that, more than likely the teacher will suggest the correct method but will not deduct you.
Yeah, when writing the name of a book/game/movie you need to underline/italicize it.Thanks for those suggestions. The paper I submitted to my professor was a revised version of the text that I posted, so there was some cleaning up done. But those are some good suggestions though. Like I said, I'm not a good writer but I would like to improve. Some suggestions are contradictory to what I have learned, but then I think, can there really be a totally controlled literary standard? I underlined Oblivion throughout the paper because the professor suggested that we do so. He is picky as HELL and I did not want to get deducted for something like that (oh I just noticed that the underlines did not show up on the shown text, my bad
Man I hope he has the damned thing graded tomorrow, I am freaking on EDGE!!!
I'll redirect that question at you. If I was your prof I'd fail you, and I actually get the gaming culture. Odds are your prof doesn't. You're bogging him down with details on the jump key, and all he's gonna be thinking to himself is "uhhh, so what?"
Your essay reads like a show and tell report. It is not college level writing. It is not even high school level writing. I'm sorry if that offends you, but the others are right.
Now, that said, someone should smack your professor because that is not a college level assignment. Asking for a few paragraphs citing a personal opinion on an object is something I stopped having to do once I got to junior high. If he wanted an opinion paper he should have asked for something adult, such as a political subject. The only type of class where this assignment might be appropriate would be classes preparing you for a career as a movie reviewer or a car columnist.
Slartibartfast
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