Official G90 Bechmarks

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OMG, I haven't laughed that hard in two years. I'm dying here.

Ah, this relieved the stress from building a computer for the first time and waiting for reviews of the 7800. Haven't plugged in my new comp yet. Maybe in a few hours.
(For those who are wondering, only a cheap Duron 1.8 GHz and Ti4200 but that's because I want to save for my next upgrade, dual core all the way!!!)
 
Good job on the thread. I enjoyed it immensely.

A++++++++ will read again kthxbbq

:D

-J.
 
As the thread dies down id like to thank you all for your kind words, and getting my thread on the front page. I enjoy making you all laugh :)

Thanks to all the people that made other pictures and modified some already posted..good job all, they were all hilarious.

Thanks for making this thread great. Lets get 10000 views :D
 
guys guys, imma have to warn u about somthing with this g90 vid card everyones talking about, sure its gona have 12 l33t cores so quake 2 will run on optimal settings, the pcb will be made out of GXDR2 so u dont have to run half life in software mode, it will only require 6 to 8 nuclear cores to run this, which is great because its hard to mine uranium with your spare time to power these bad boys, we all know there will be a rip in the space time continum right where the heat exausts from the heatsink. we all know with the eyeball hookups it will be better than doing acid. and hey it mite be a single slot solution


but what nvidia doesnt want u to know they have been secretly working with intel and unfortionly each one of them 12 l33t cores will have 31 ULTRA LONG STAGE PIPELINES HOLY HELL ITS GONA be HAWT, THE PRICE OF A GFORCE 2 MX 420 WILL SKYROCKET AFTER THIS HITS THE SHELVES AND SUDDENTLY TURNS INTO A MASSIVE BLUE STAR ONCE U TURN IT ON.


but hey, availabiliy on this card looks good if u have your own US mint in the back yard printing money for 2 or 3 months thats a plus on this card.
 
hilarious guys, absolutely hilarious.

Digging around the house.. I think i've got a G90 or XXX³ hidden in the trash :D
 
A team of insurgents are on their way to get the stolen data back!!!1111

roflcopter.jpg
 
J-M-E said:
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you. The new, and improved official nvidia reference design G90.
firsteverg90pic.png


The small nuclear power plant for it is on my shelf over there. It powers the flux capacitator, which has the ability to open rifts in the time space continuium, if it overheats....but that rarely happens....I think its pretty safe

Please notice the direct eyeball hookup, no more CRTs, LCDs, OLEDs, NEDs, or SEDs.

I took this pic before my computer heavily toasted it.

FEAST YOUR EYES ON WHAT NVIDIA DOESNT WANT YOU TO SEE !
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If theres direct eye hookups does that mean it comes with the newest CortexShader 8.0?
 
plasman said:
g90.jpg


heres a new image i stole from work (i work for "them")...as u can see it combines the best of teh previous versions, all in one card. Of course tehre will be other versions coming out. This is the sd model, oem version. im not sure on the mem and core speeds...that all depends on universe, altitude, internet speed, and stuff like that.


(sry for stealing the image for the card, but thx anyways!)
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They've obviously licensed Bit Boy's super secret 1024-bit memory interface.

And are using an adapted method of Kyro's tile rendering where they actual tile the chips on PCB and those tiles directly render the image on to the screen, in the same arrangement. However, I've heard sometimes the center chips get hotter than the rest of the chips (centrally located) and sometimes the middle of your moniter will melt also, so be careful to have sufficient cooling.

The rip in time space continuem allows real time rendering of ANYTHING including movie titles like Shrek3, ToyStory3, etc.... No more waiting hours or weeks for render farms!
 
I heard from behind the scenes the reason why the G90 preformed so bad in DOS is that the G90 with the help of old 3DFX guys has voxel acceleration III incorporated.

Wow, that's big news! The origional Delta Force I heard actually hits a playable 30FPS now!
 
J-M-E said:
You want your screenshot?
HL3screenshot.png
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In a similar vein, someone was asking about animals being near this card... It appears to be dolphin safe.

 
I heard the g90 comes bundled with DNF.

This, btw, is the funniest thing i've seen in months. Its quality far surpassing the goons 'mine or photshop friday over at SA something awful.
 
Oh, and I thought the package included Duke Nukem Forever... The main reason people bought these... :D
 
Project_2501 said:
Oh, and I thought the package included Duke Nukem Forever... The main reason people bought these... :D
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If you didn't read my post first, thats uncanny.Slighty weird...
 
The real version didn't do so good on its own, but it can still be a valuable part of this thread, where it belongs :]
realg90benchmarks.png
 
Real Specs for the G90

silicon process : 1 picometer
number of transistors : as old as yo' mama
number of pipelines : as big as your e-penis is in meters (which obviously, if you own this card is like 180000)
number of polygons per process : How many girls you have had cyber-sex with online (if you are male obviously)

The rip in time space allows the card to go 4x faster than it normally would. without it, you could only have about 4 pixel processing units. Obviously, 4x faster means like 900000 pipelines in internet lingo

Here below I have the relative overclocking performance of the G90, damn this thing FLIES when overclocked, just look at the chart!!!!

685w6d.jpg


I got this chart from toms hardware guide, the article just came out!!
 
I've been following this thread all day and i have to say it really turned a colossaly BAD day into a pretty damn good one :p
 
iNViSiGOD said:
I've been following this thread all day and i have to say it really turned a colossaly BAD day into a pretty damn good one :p
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glad you enjoyed it :]
 
This should be a sticky, for alllll future hardforum members to read :)
 
Lightsier said:
You people on the forums piss me off! You're damn biased to nVidia it makes me sick! You haven't even posted up the article that Tomshardboner.com had put up earlier today about ATi's offering.

Clearly ATi's solution is better with superior DOS support. nVidia to me failed again, the Tie Fighter benchmarks were miserable.
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A Whole review! That was classic. My vote for best post in teh thread.
 
GTPoompt said:
Real Specs for the G90

silicon process : 1 picometer
Click to expand...

I thought it was on the new UTSMC .01 Angstrom process ?

Here below I have the relative overclocking performance of the G90, damn this thing FLIES when overclocked, just look at the chart!!!!

685w6d.jpg


I got this chart from toms hardware guide, the article just came out!!
Click to expand...
I had to quote the pic, since I am sure many people did not realize the NUMBERS that are in the chart.. my biggest pet peeve with many internet reviews.
 
yeah, when we learned how to do graphs and charts and stuff in math class, that was the first thing we were told. Make them to scale.
 
Man, everyone in my 3rd block class thinks I'm insane now, from laughing at this all class... hehe...
 
It's good though. Better yet, I try and explain what I'm reading, telling it like it is, and now they know I'm a nerd. So, I got the best of everything. Hehe. And the blank starea I get are priceless. :D
 
Project_2501 said:
It's good though. Better yet, I try and explain what I'm reading, telling it like it is, and now they know I'm a nerd. So, I got the best of everything. Hehe. And the blank starea I get are priceless. :D
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Just show them half life 3, when they know they get to crowbar kittens and dolphins theyll love this thread instantly
 
I just remember reading an article somewhere comparing two video card's performances and the chart looked exactly like the one i made (well, the core and mem speeds were to the left and not in the bar but...). Anyway, they made it look like one card was wayyyy faster than the other when the difference really was only 1.2 fps or something like that :)

IIRC 1 pico meter = 1X10^-12 m, a nanometer was 10^-9m, and an angstrom was 10^-8m, but i am not sure since I have never seen pico...anything used anywhere. Even rarer is the prefix "femto"
 
nVidia must be pissed off about this thread since it is stealing the show of the G70 :D

Para
 
wow, i just read this whole thread waiting for the funny

I want my 10 minutes back
 
I'm going to wait for the 90,000$ dollar more "8850 GT-XXL Uber Ultra XT XL PE Awesome 'Card of Destiny'" Edition that will score a whole 5 fps more. ;)
 
ROFL. This is one of the funniest things I've read on the [H]. Everyone's comments have added to the hilarity. On a side note, I may have missed it but does anyone know if this is going to be offered in AGP? If not I'm going to have to upgrade my mobo.
 
postalcop said:
ROFL. This is one of the funniest things I've read on the [H]. Everyone's comments have added to the hilarity. On a side note, I may have missed it but does anyone know if this is going to be offered in AGP? If not I'm going to have to upgrade my mobo.
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It only comes in PCI-F16
 
GTPoompt said:
I just remember reading an article somewhere comparing two video card's performances and the chart looked exactly like the one i made (well, the core and mem speeds were to the left and not in the bar but...). Anyway, they made it look like one card was wayyyy faster than the other when the difference really was only 1.2 fps or something like that :)

IIRC 1 pico meter = 1X10^-12 m, a nanometer was 10^-9m, and an angstrom was 10^-8m, but i am not sure since I have never seen pico...anything used anywhere. Even rarer is the prefix "femto"
Click to expand...

angstrom is 10^ -10m about the size of a hydrogen atom.
 
this card will probably be offered in agp for historical reasons, it will need a new agp bridge seeing as with the rip in time would cause the current hsi bridge to 'snap', 'crackle', and 'pop', in that order.

the new agp bridge would need to compinsate for the rip in time (which the agp bus doesnt nativly have suport for) with the warp drive chip to fetch data from inside the rip in time. warp drive cant work sufficently with 12v dc power so an adaper will be provided to power the warp drive with ither coal, nuclear fussion, or streams of 100 dolar bills (50 dolar bills wont work because u cant burn enough money fast enough using them therefore not enough power would be provided and the rip in time would close and u would get stuck in the year 2081bc)


an SLi bridge for these cards will be fabricated out of fiber optic cables and pixey dust so the art of paralism can be better mastered thru magic.

also asus will apparently making a dual verson of the G90 ultra extreme edition

the pcb will be 4 standard atx motherboards gorilla glued together, the cooling soltion will be a self contained watercooling soltion, with pvc piping and the radiator out of a mack truck. the fans on this radiator will be 2 40 mm fans from there surpluss recalled motherboard fans, but will now be powered with 12 amp motors it will be rated at 195db@10 cfms spinning at 1.7 million rpms

the only downside to this 2x G90UEE it will use 20 gigs of GDDR1 ram for some unknown reason


nvidia will reportidly be the first company to have hardware suport for time travel where ati will lag beihind and only provide software time travel intill there verson of the R780 Phantom edition comes out 2 months later
 
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